Tom Jones

Tom Jones
1963

Tom Jones is a slut.

I am sorry, but it’s true. In the movie named after him he sleeps with many different people, at least six times in the two hours the film takes place. The only girl he doesn’t have sex with is the girl who truly loves. No, he would rather go behind her back and mess around because her father frowned upon him.

Tom Jones is an unlikeable “hero.” I only call him that because the narrator does. He’s lazy and unfaithful and yet everyone loves. But besides being a moral fail, he also has no clue who his parents are. This means he cannot marry Sophie, the girl of his dreams. So what does he do?

He drinks and sleeps around and has a grand old time. Oh such a great example he is for us.

After all of his antics, everyone has become fed up with him and he gets kicked out on the road. Oh poor him. I feel oh so sorry for Tom. In case you cannot tell I am being extremely sarcastic.

As he is going along, he meets up with a woman who he sleeps with. They go to London together and she just kind of disappears. But that’s okay. He has found a new girl.

This girl is friends with Sophie though and is totally aware he is supposed to like Sophie. But she sleeps with him a few times anyway. He ends up proposing marriage to her, just so she will leave him alone and it works.

Can I just pause and say that this movie is ridiculously screwed up? How on earth can Tom think what he does is perfectly fine and dandy, unless he is a little off in the head? Hmm maybe that’s it.

So the lady turns the proposal down and tells Sophie about it. Sophie then tells Tom she never ever wants to hear of him again. He seems fine with that. Stupid Tom.

Tom then is accused of stealing from some random guy and set to be hung. Right as he is walking up, everyone finds out he is the nephew of the guy he’s been living with and therefore his heir. So now he can marry Sophie!

Except he’s going to be dead. That would put a damper on their wedding.

So to save the day, the lady he slept with while traveling to London, turns out to be married to the guy who pressed charges against Tom. So the charges are now dropped because of her and Tom lives. He rushes back, finds out who he is, and Sophie readily takes him back. The end.

This movie annoyed me. The score was irritating. I have never been so bothered by music before, but geez this was awful. It was just like dink tink in your ear the whole time, played by some horrid instrument that sounded strangely like a piano, but just couldn’t be. Tom Jones, played by Albert Finney, was annoying. He just could do whatever he wanted in life and everything worked out splendidly for him. None of the supporting characters knew how to enunciate words at all. Everything was terrible.

The most disturbing part for me is that after Tom betrayed her love so many times, Sophie took him back anyway. That was such a stupid thing to do. There is no way he’ll change. He would just keep sleeping around, but it would be even worse now that he was married. It was an idiotic move on Sophie’s part. She could have done so much better.

I felt nothing but hate throughout the movie for Tom. A good movie makes us love the protagonist, makes us want him to win. When he was just about to hang and there were three minutes left, I was so hoping he actually died. It would have been a better ending to this atrocity of a movie.