Patton

Patton
1970

I’m going to let you in on a secret from me
It’s rather odd, soon you will see.
I have this addiction to rhyme,
I could even do it on a lime!
“Oh lime, of the shade green,
You really are pretty keen.”
See look at that! Wasn’t it grand?
Now let’s get on to this movie about a man.

Patton was this dude’s name,
Being annoying was his game.
He was a general in the army,
And he really wasn’t charmy.
Yes I made up that word.
It’s pretty much the coolest thing I have ever heard.

Anywho let’s continue with this jerk.
He really was a piece of work.
He slapped a soldier right in the face!
He thought he deserved it, he was wrong in this case.
This got him in trouble, oh quite a lot
But even so he still fought.
Eventually people got fed up with him.
They made him stay back it was really dim.
Then they got over it, and asked for him back.
And then he was allowed to attack.

BAM! ZAM! POW!
The war was over now!
But Patton our man
Who didn’t need a tan
Was still ever mean
And called a Russian, who was not lean,
A name which I shall not repeat here,
For it is not something you would endear.
But he realized he was the same as that name,
And he took a drink with the Russian, all the same.

He nearly was run over by a cart,
Which really should have happened right from the start.
But I had no luck, he walked away for a mile,
And then went to live on for a while.

That is the jist of it.
The man Patton was not much of a hit.
He was ugly and rude, and way too strict
And really, he made me quite ticked.
Therefore, even though funny it could be
This is a movie I would never re-see.