1942
Casablanca is a classic. Everyone knows that. But here is what I am wondering. How is this possible? Yes. I will admit I did not particularly like Casablanca, supposedly one of the best movies of all times. Occasionally it had its moments, the films strong points for sure being its script and lines, but other than that… it was just any other over dramatic forties film.
The whole story is set in Casablanca, not a white house, which is what I thought, but a place right outside of Morocco. The setting is around the time of World War II. Rick, the main man, played by Humphrey Bogart, owns a nightclub there that is oh so cleverly called Rick’s Café Americian. Side note. Why was Humphrey Bogart famous and a heart throb and all that jazz? He was oh so unattractive. Ugh. I am shivering just by thinking of him now. Anyway so Rick owns this club where a bunch of Italians, Nazis, and French officers all hang out together, because apparently they are all on the same side. The movie really made my brain hurt after awhile trying to keep all of the war stuff straight.
As we become better acquainted with the club I realized it’s rather spiffy. It has a bunch of ways to dwindle your money away, be it on roulette or various assorted alcoholic beverages. It has Sam, the lovely piano player. It has pretty no named guitar player who sings in an ungodly high pitched awful voice. It seems like a cool place to hang out. It has so many shiny objects too. Now that I have rabbit trailed a lot I can go back to the story.
Ugly Rick one night has one of his frequent customers, one who gets in trouble with the law a lot bring him papers of transit to keep for him just for an hour. Rick seems all nervous. I have no clue why because I don’t know what these papers even are. So I googled it! Basically these papers would let whoever had them go wherever they wanted to inside Germany, like to neutral Portugal then to America (Information courtesy of Wikipedia). So to someone the Nazis wanted to keep in Casablanca, these papers are pretty tight.
The guy who has these papers originally gets arrested and then dies without telling anyone who has the papers. Oh well. He was a jerk anyway. So the Captain Louis, by far the best character in the movie as he is so corrupt it’s funny, lets Rick have them. Because even though he despises him he still trusts him… Yeah that makes sense. Captain Louis is so amazing. I love him. He also is allowed to cheat at roulette. Lucky.
While this is all going on, the main reason all these generals and captains and whatnots are chilling at Rick’s is because they want to catch this guy who is very big, powerful, and motivating on the other side of the war. He’s stranded in Casablanca with some random lady and they know he is going to be going to Rick’s that night. He is trying to get to America. Rick bets Louis 20,000 franks he will escape. Louis accepts but lowers it to 10,000 because he is only a poor corrupt official. His words not mine. I love Louis.
The guy, Laszlo, does come in that night. And all the officers, including really bad guy Major Strasser, are there to make sure he never leaves Casablanca. Why don’t they just arrest him? I don’t get it! Urgh. This makes no sense. We see the lady he is with and see is indeed very pretty. She also recognizes Sam. Weird. She asks him to come over and says, “Play it Sam. Play ‘As Time Goes By.” So they know each other. Obviously. She finds out Rick is the owner and tries not to see him but fails miserably and they eventually run into each other. Ugh. Where is Louis? This dramatic obvious ex lover thing is so over done.
That night Rick is drinking his brains out waiting for Isla to come. Sam yells at him telling him she’s basically no good. He won’t listen. Flashback time! They were lovers! Dur. They were going to run away together from Paris when the German were invading because Rick did something back in America I don’t get that would make him instantly sent to a concentration camp. But at the train station Sam gives him a note that says Isla can’t come and never will see him ever again. It’s so dramatic.
The end of flashback. Why is Rick waiting for Isla to come? Did she say she was going to? No. Idiot. But she does! I don’t understand how this worked out. But because he’s drunk and mean she leaves. Poor Rick.
The next day Laszlo and Isla work on getting exit visas but are denied by the government. Duh. So they go to the kingpin down there and he says he can get one for Isla but not for Laszlo. They say no. Aww. So they are stranded out in Casablanca until futher notice. This is particularly sucky for Isla as she has ex Rick she dumped rather harshly do deal with.
Rick is out strolling around when he runs into Isla looking at some lace tablecloths. He demands and explanation. She refuses for awhile, then strolls of after telling her she is actually married to Laszlo and was when they hung out in Paris all the time.
Wait what?
You can’t just be like I was married while I was dating you then leave! That is so and totally rude! Isla! I can’t believe you! No one in real life would actually do that. Ugh. This movie makes so little sense.
Rick, understandably, is kind of confused and bitter and crushed at all of this. I would be too. It’s okay Rick. I am here for you. Isla is a big mean jerk and you can do better. Well, maybe not with that face. Laszlo somehow figures out Rick has the papers. I have no clue how. How the events in this movie fall out are rather unclear. It’s so confusing. Anyway, Laszlo asks for the papers, and Rick says no. When asked why, he tells Laszlo to ask his wife why. Ouch.
What happened next I had to google too. Major Strasser has the club sing the national anthem of Germany. In response to that, Laszlo has the band sing the French anthem. They all start singing it with such passion Strasser closes the club until further notice. Jerk. The club empties out and Rick goes upstairs to his room. Where Isla is. She begs for him to give them the papers. He says no. She threatens him with a gun. He still says no, and says shooting him would be doing a favor. She can’t do it in the end. She admits she still loves him. Well duh. They talk about what happened back in Paris. This part is rather boring for me. See, Laszlo was supposedly dead in some concentration camp when they were together. But then she got word he was alive and went to him the same day she and Rick were supposed to leave. She is so confused with what do because she loves Rick still but Laszlo loves her. She asks Rick to do all the thinking for her because she doesn’t know what’s right anymore. Stupid girl. She has no brain is and is willing to let others think for her. I hate her.
So Rick hatches this plan to use the papers to get him and Isla out to America and in return for ease of passage he turns Laszlo into Louis. He sells Rick’s to that kingpin guy and makes sure Sam still has his job and is paid the same. Everyone is all jazzed up about the plan the night of it when they get to the airport but wait! Rick has a different idea in mind! He pulls a gun on Louis so he doesn’t call anyone and makes sure Laszlo and Isla get on the plane together. He tells Isla she would regret it not going with him and Laszlo needs her to keep going as he does truly love her. Isla balks, but eventually gets on the plane.
Louis tells Rick he’s going to have to arrest him. He says okay. Major Stresser comes and asks what happened. When Rick is about the shoot him Louis does instead. He puts in a call saying the major has been shot, “Round up the usual suspects.” I love Louis. Louis and Rick stroll of into the fog, and decide to go on a trip together to France with the 10,000 franks Louis owes Rick.
“Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Rick says, right as the credits begin to roll.
Again, I was not that fond of this film. I happened to like the ending, and I am probably the only teenage girl who did. But sheesh this movie was so hard to follow sometimes. And there really was nothing spectacular about it that warrants winning best picture. Sure, there are some pretty clever lines here and there and Louis is amazing in every single way, but other than that, it was kind of just boring. The acting was acceptable. Humphrey Bogart I feel sorry for because of his poor face. Isla I hate with an undying burning passion. I almost feel bad for hating a classic but you know what?
I don’t.
The whole story is set in Casablanca, not a white house, which is what I thought, but a place right outside of Morocco. The setting is around the time of World War II. Rick, the main man, played by Humphrey Bogart, owns a nightclub there that is oh so cleverly called Rick’s Café Americian. Side note. Why was Humphrey Bogart famous and a heart throb and all that jazz? He was oh so unattractive. Ugh. I am shivering just by thinking of him now. Anyway so Rick owns this club where a bunch of Italians, Nazis, and French officers all hang out together, because apparently they are all on the same side. The movie really made my brain hurt after awhile trying to keep all of the war stuff straight.
As we become better acquainted with the club I realized it’s rather spiffy. It has a bunch of ways to dwindle your money away, be it on roulette or various assorted alcoholic beverages. It has Sam, the lovely piano player. It has pretty no named guitar player who sings in an ungodly high pitched awful voice. It seems like a cool place to hang out. It has so many shiny objects too. Now that I have rabbit trailed a lot I can go back to the story.
Ugly Rick one night has one of his frequent customers, one who gets in trouble with the law a lot bring him papers of transit to keep for him just for an hour. Rick seems all nervous. I have no clue why because I don’t know what these papers even are. So I googled it! Basically these papers would let whoever had them go wherever they wanted to inside Germany, like to neutral Portugal then to America (Information courtesy of Wikipedia). So to someone the Nazis wanted to keep in Casablanca, these papers are pretty tight.
The guy who has these papers originally gets arrested and then dies without telling anyone who has the papers. Oh well. He was a jerk anyway. So the Captain Louis, by far the best character in the movie as he is so corrupt it’s funny, lets Rick have them. Because even though he despises him he still trusts him… Yeah that makes sense. Captain Louis is so amazing. I love him. He also is allowed to cheat at roulette. Lucky.
While this is all going on, the main reason all these generals and captains and whatnots are chilling at Rick’s is because they want to catch this guy who is very big, powerful, and motivating on the other side of the war. He’s stranded in Casablanca with some random lady and they know he is going to be going to Rick’s that night. He is trying to get to America. Rick bets Louis 20,000 franks he will escape. Louis accepts but lowers it to 10,000 because he is only a poor corrupt official. His words not mine. I love Louis.
The guy, Laszlo, does come in that night. And all the officers, including really bad guy Major Strasser, are there to make sure he never leaves Casablanca. Why don’t they just arrest him? I don’t get it! Urgh. This makes no sense. We see the lady he is with and see is indeed very pretty. She also recognizes Sam. Weird. She asks him to come over and says, “Play it Sam. Play ‘As Time Goes By.” So they know each other. Obviously. She finds out Rick is the owner and tries not to see him but fails miserably and they eventually run into each other. Ugh. Where is Louis? This dramatic obvious ex lover thing is so over done.
That night Rick is drinking his brains out waiting for Isla to come. Sam yells at him telling him she’s basically no good. He won’t listen. Flashback time! They were lovers! Dur. They were going to run away together from Paris when the German were invading because Rick did something back in America I don’t get that would make him instantly sent to a concentration camp. But at the train station Sam gives him a note that says Isla can’t come and never will see him ever again. It’s so dramatic.
The end of flashback. Why is Rick waiting for Isla to come? Did she say she was going to? No. Idiot. But she does! I don’t understand how this worked out. But because he’s drunk and mean she leaves. Poor Rick.
The next day Laszlo and Isla work on getting exit visas but are denied by the government. Duh. So they go to the kingpin down there and he says he can get one for Isla but not for Laszlo. They say no. Aww. So they are stranded out in Casablanca until futher notice. This is particularly sucky for Isla as she has ex Rick she dumped rather harshly do deal with.
Rick is out strolling around when he runs into Isla looking at some lace tablecloths. He demands and explanation. She refuses for awhile, then strolls of after telling her she is actually married to Laszlo and was when they hung out in Paris all the time.
Wait what?
You can’t just be like I was married while I was dating you then leave! That is so and totally rude! Isla! I can’t believe you! No one in real life would actually do that. Ugh. This movie makes so little sense.
Rick, understandably, is kind of confused and bitter and crushed at all of this. I would be too. It’s okay Rick. I am here for you. Isla is a big mean jerk and you can do better. Well, maybe not with that face. Laszlo somehow figures out Rick has the papers. I have no clue how. How the events in this movie fall out are rather unclear. It’s so confusing. Anyway, Laszlo asks for the papers, and Rick says no. When asked why, he tells Laszlo to ask his wife why. Ouch.
What happened next I had to google too. Major Strasser has the club sing the national anthem of Germany. In response to that, Laszlo has the band sing the French anthem. They all start singing it with such passion Strasser closes the club until further notice. Jerk. The club empties out and Rick goes upstairs to his room. Where Isla is. She begs for him to give them the papers. He says no. She threatens him with a gun. He still says no, and says shooting him would be doing a favor. She can’t do it in the end. She admits she still loves him. Well duh. They talk about what happened back in Paris. This part is rather boring for me. See, Laszlo was supposedly dead in some concentration camp when they were together. But then she got word he was alive and went to him the same day she and Rick were supposed to leave. She is so confused with what do because she loves Rick still but Laszlo loves her. She asks Rick to do all the thinking for her because she doesn’t know what’s right anymore. Stupid girl. She has no brain is and is willing to let others think for her. I hate her.
So Rick hatches this plan to use the papers to get him and Isla out to America and in return for ease of passage he turns Laszlo into Louis. He sells Rick’s to that kingpin guy and makes sure Sam still has his job and is paid the same. Everyone is all jazzed up about the plan the night of it when they get to the airport but wait! Rick has a different idea in mind! He pulls a gun on Louis so he doesn’t call anyone and makes sure Laszlo and Isla get on the plane together. He tells Isla she would regret it not going with him and Laszlo needs her to keep going as he does truly love her. Isla balks, but eventually gets on the plane.
Louis tells Rick he’s going to have to arrest him. He says okay. Major Stresser comes and asks what happened. When Rick is about the shoot him Louis does instead. He puts in a call saying the major has been shot, “Round up the usual suspects.” I love Louis. Louis and Rick stroll of into the fog, and decide to go on a trip together to France with the 10,000 franks Louis owes Rick.
“Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Rick says, right as the credits begin to roll.
Again, I was not that fond of this film. I happened to like the ending, and I am probably the only teenage girl who did. But sheesh this movie was so hard to follow sometimes. And there really was nothing spectacular about it that warrants winning best picture. Sure, there are some pretty clever lines here and there and Louis is amazing in every single way, but other than that, it was kind of just boring. The acting was acceptable. Humphrey Bogart I feel sorry for because of his poor face. Isla I hate with an undying burning passion. I almost feel bad for hating a classic but you know what?
I don’t.
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