My Fair Lady

My Fair Lady
1964

Musical musical MUUUUUUUSSSIIIICAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

Guess what My Fair Lady is? A musical! If you didn't know this by now, you are an idiot my friend. I love musicals. After seeing a musical just once, their songs are forever drilled into your head and you go around humming them for the next week or so like a crazy person, gathering rather odd looks. It's just lovely!

I have seen My Fair lady at least forty thousand and seven times. It's my mother's favorite movie. And with this movie I have a complex relationship. I always am so excited to watch it because it's a musical and it's songs are just fabulous. But, then I remember the fact it's three hours long and my attention span is that of a squirrel. After two hours I eventually start drawing on people and they don't like that (So sorry Bethy dear).

The main story is rather simple. A girl who talks poorly is taken in by a phonetics expert and he teaches her to speak and act like a lady. He, Professor Higgins, played by Rex Harris, takes on a bet with Colonel Pickering (Wilfred Hyde-White) that he can pass her off as a duchess in six months. No Pickering is not a type of fish for those of you who are wondering. I already checked...

Anyway he is able to pass her, Eliza Doolittle, Audrey Hepburn, off as a duchess and everyone is happy except Eliza because Higgins is a real jerk to her. She leaves, he says sorry, she comes, back the end. THIS TAKES THREE HOURS TO DO!!!! Why? I don't know. They drag the plot out forever and add subplots with romance and blah and it's not very interesting. Songs also add lots of time, but they are the redeeming factor of this far too long movie.

Besides length, the rest of this movie's quality is pretty good. All of the actors play out their roles excellently, Rex Harris even winning Best Actor for his efforts. The songs are spectacular. Have I mentioned them yet? Especially "I'm Getting Married in the Morning." It's song by a Alfred Doolittle, Eliza's father, a man who cannot afford morals. You must love a man who cannot afford morals. I love this man dearly. And I love the songs.

But even my love for the songs, and my love for a morally corrupt old dude can not make up for the fact this movie drags on forever and feels seven hours long. It just doesn't. And after reading the original book Pygmalion the ending of the movie is so entirely wrong it's not funny. A good movie shouldn't make you bored at any point. Therefor even though this movie is "technically" good, I "technically" dislike it. And I will remember it this time.