Gone with the Wind

Gone with the Wind
1939

So, I am going to be honest right now. While watching this movie, for the second time in my life, I hardly paid attention. BUT IT WASN’T MY FAULT I SWEAR.

If you actually want to know what’s happening in a four hour movie about the Civil war that has a terrible main character, you should not have your friends, specifically ones named Tim, watch it with you. They are entertaining, but highly distracting. So please forgive me if I don’t know names, or details, or what happened. It’s not all that important anyway.

So. This is what I know. Scarlett is a terrible person who uses everyone she can. She is the main character. I also know there is this really ugly guy Ashley. Yes, he is a guy. It’s odd. She loves him. He loves her. He marries this girl Melanie because he’s an idiot and ugly. Scarlett marries this other guy named… I’ll call him Bill. Bill then dies! Woohoo!

This movie is four hours long. I cannot believe I had four hours of my life stolen by this. Technically eight since I have seen it before. Ugh.

So now, Scarlett is in fake mourning. But this other dude Rhett likes her. And there is this huge war thing going on and people keep dying.

So um… I am trying to think of what happened next. I really should have actually watched more of the film.

Scarlett goes down to Atlanta to visit Melanie and Ashley. He admits he still has feelings for her and the Yankees attack. Rhett helps her escape. And then, something most tragic happens.

The horse dies. But it’s all good! He died right outside of Tara, Scarlett’s plantation. There, we find out her mother has died. And there is no food. Scarlett then goes out, finds a carrot and stabs herself with it. Not really but that’s what it looked like to me. She swears she’ll never go hungry. Good for her. The end of disc one.

The war is over! Scarlett shoots a guy and blows his face away, simply because he was on her property and stealing from her. I told you she wasn’t nice.

But she has found something out about Tara. She has to come up with three hundred dollars in order to keep it. Why? I haven’t the foggiest I wasn’t paying attention!

Her first plan is to ask Rhett for the money. But he says no. Oh poor Scarlett! What will she do now? She get’s married to some random dude her sister wanted to marry! Isn’t that just the logical solution?

So Tara is saved. But after awhile this husband dies too. Geez. Then… Hmmm what did happen next. Gosh. Stupid four hour movies.

Oh! She marries Rhett!! Then, they have a kid. And that kid dies. Then Melanie dies. And since that leaves Ashley open Rhett leaves because frankly, he doesn’t give a damn. I just summed up an hour in a paragraph. Be extremely impressed.

But, Scarlett still has Tara. So she can go home to it. The end.

Yeah that’s all I got for a summary. I am sure more things happened, probably important things. Buuuuuuut… I don’t remember. Next time I watch a movie, I will be sure to pay attention.

Ha. Yeah right.