Rebecca

Rebecca
1940

I so wanted to like this movie. So much. But never before has a movie made my head hurt so before! But anyway, this is the jist of it.

Right as the movie starts, we hit annoying thing number one. Miss Main Character has no name. Well, I mean I’m sure she has one. We just never get to know it. It was entirely irksome in every way. Moving on. MMC (Miss Main Character) meets this really, really, really attractive guy in Monte Carlo and decides to marry him. So off they go to his estate! Oh there is this minor detail about him. He used to be married, but his wife died under “mysterious” circumstances. Yeah.

Everyone at the house is still madly in love with the old wife, Rebecca. MMC tries to run the house but it is kind of hard. To try and establish herself as the wife she holds a costume party and accidentally wears the same costume that Rebecca wore last year, because the evil Mrs. Danvers told her to. Obviously, everyone goes crazy, including cute husband. So Mrs. Danvers tells MMC she should just jump out of her window. Which she nearly does, until a call comes from the shore. A boat has been found.

Annoying thing number two. THIS ALL TAKES TWO WHOLE HOURS TO COVER AND NOTHING TRULY INTERESTING HAS HAPPENED! Okay. I am calm and collected and will continue now that I got that off my chest.

The boat has a body in it. Rebecca’s body. But how is this possible? She is buried already. Let us go to handsome husband and ask.

It seems she was having an affair. With her cousin. EWWWWWWWWWWWW. And she was pregnant. She and her husband got in a fight and she fell and died. Totally an accident. So Max, that is his real name, took her out to the boat and sunk her ship. Then identified a random other body as Rebecca.

Now cute husband is in trouble as we know Rebecca is not who he said she was. So they go to trial and have too do some digging to find out if she was suicidal or not and would sin her own ship. Can I just say that would be the stupidest form of suicide on the planet? Sinking your own ship and hoping to drown? Idiotic. So obviously she did not do that.

They go to a doctor to confirm she was pregnant as she had a appointment that day. He says no, she was not pregnant. She had cancer. So they determine her suicidal by that fact alone and everyone goes free. Woohoo!

Attractive husband goes home to find the Mrs. Danvers has burnt his house and herself to the ground. The end.

Strangest. Ending. EVER. It was hysterical. I am not sure they meant for it to be funny though.

Alfred Hitchcock directed this film. On that sole purpose alone, I wanted to love it. Psycho and The Birds are two of my favorite films ever, especially the former. He is just an utter genius, usually. I do not know what happened here.

I was, until the last thirty minutes, very bored. I was very glad I had Lucky Charms to play with, otherwise I would have lost my mind. Hitchcock should never ever bore anyone. I was very disappointed.