The French Connection

The French Connection
1971
“If I were a rich man!”
“Tradition!”
“Matchmaker matchmaker find me a find catch me a catch.” Does anyone know what movie these are from? If you guessed Fiddler on the Roof, you would be correct! Isn’t that a fabulous movie? Oh how I would love to talk about that movie! It was nominated in 1971 for Best Picture even, that’s how great it is!

But guess what. It lost. To stupid The French Connection. So I have to talk about that movie instead. This makes me angry. But because I am a wonderful person, I’ll do it anyway.

Bad guys have drugs. Good guys want to put them away for this. Good guys fail in the end. The end.

What’s that you say? I am getting lazy in my old age and should do a longer summary? Well I take personal offense to that! I am not getting lazy! So maybe I only made my bed twice this week. Maybe I only put on makeup three times. Maybe I only wrote a three sentence summary. I don’t think this is the definition of lazy! I call it conservation of energy, which everyone should be for.

In truth, this was all I understood of this, to put it bluntly, terrible movie. It was confusing. And boring. The most exciting scene was a car chasing a train, but even though that had the potential to be fabulous and spectacular, it was just dull and flat. The blood that was spilling out all over the place throughout the movie was bright red and obviously fake. The dialogue was difficult to understand. They spoke in too much French. I could go on.

And I will. Because I particularly hated the ending immensely. I mean a good guy gets shot by another good guy and none of the bad guys except one actually get punished. It’s terrible! How is this supposed to be a lovely tale worth watching?

I truly do not understand why this won Best Picture. It did not exemplify any qualities a Best Picture movie should have. Now, maybe I am being too harsh. Maybe I just really wanted Fiddler on the Roof to win. Maybe I am extra sensitive because it’s past midnight and I am cranky. Or maybe this was just a lousy movie.