The French Connection
1971
“If I were a rich man!”
“Tradition!”
“Matchmaker matchmaker find me a find catch me a catch.” Does anyone know what movie these are from? If you guessed Fiddler on the Roof, you would be correct! Isn’t that a fabulous movie? Oh how I would love to talk about that movie! It was nominated in 1971 for Best Picture even, that’s how great it is!
But guess what. It lost. To stupid The French Connection. So I have to talk about that movie instead. This makes me angry. But because I am a wonderful person, I’ll do it anyway.
Bad guys have drugs. Good guys want to put them away for this. Good guys fail in the end. The end.
What’s that you say? I am getting lazy in my old age and should do a longer summary? Well I take personal offense to that! I am not getting lazy! So maybe I only made my bed twice this week. Maybe I only put on makeup three times. Maybe I only wrote a three sentence summary. I don’t think this is the definition of lazy! I call it conservation of energy, which everyone should be for.
In truth, this was all I understood of this, to put it bluntly, terrible movie. It was confusing. And boring. The most exciting scene was a car chasing a train, but even though that had the potential to be fabulous and spectacular, it was just dull and flat. The blood that was spilling out all over the place throughout the movie was bright red and obviously fake. The dialogue was difficult to understand. They spoke in too much French. I could go on.
And I will. Because I particularly hated the ending immensely. I mean a good guy gets shot by another good guy and none of the bad guys except one actually get punished. It’s terrible! How is this supposed to be a lovely tale worth watching?
I truly do not understand why this won Best Picture. It did not exemplify any qualities a Best Picture movie should have. Now, maybe I am being too harsh. Maybe I just really wanted Fiddler on the Roof to win. Maybe I am extra sensitive because it’s past midnight and I am cranky. Or maybe this was just a lousy movie.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Kramer Vs. Kramer
Kramer Vs. Kramer
1979
Tonight, the unexpected happened. My dishwasher began to melt.
I know you are laughing at this statement. But it is not funny. I have never been more worried about anything before in my life. Smoke and steam were pouring out of my dish cleaning device at an alarming rate, making some sort of black plastic slowly ooze out the front. I was convinced for a few seconds that it was going to eat me. Had you seen the site that I had beheld tonight, I am sure my dear friends that you would believe the same thing.
While all this was going on, I happened to be watching Kramer Vs. Kramer. Of course I would have to take breaks occasionally to make sure my large kitchen appliance hadn’t totally wasted away into a heap of useless plastic. That would indeed be a tragedy.
Ted Kramer likes to work. He likes it a lot. However, his wife hates the fact he is always working, and never paying any attention to her feelings, and in general being a fail of a husband. So of course, she leaves him, and their five year old son.
At first, Ted doesn’t do so well having a child to take full care of. He makes him French toast with the egg shells mixed in, things like that. But eventually after about a year or so, they finally begin to make it all work and become genuinely happy.
Of course, in a movie, when things are going splendidly you know everything is about to turn rotten.
This movie is no exception. First Ted is hit with the news his ex has returned to New York City and is wanting custody of Billy, their now seven year old boy. Of course Ted is rather attached to Billy and says no. So off to a courtroom they must go! Oh look that rhymed! Maybe I should do that more of the time.
But not before Ted loses his job due to missing some stuff because of being a single parent. This makes his case to win Billy nearly impossible. Scratch that. It is impossible. So Ted races off, three days before Christmas, to find a job, any job.
Luckily, he does! It is below him and he takes a pay cut, but it is still a job. He doesn’t care. He would have probably worked at McDonald’s if he had to. Everything is secure to head off to the courtroom.
Now, I could write this long, dramatic paragraph about how they argue back and forth and have to wait for the news an agonizing amount of days, or I could just tell you bluntly that Ted looses Billy. Its heart wrenching. Honestly, if you don’t feel even a tinge of sadness when this happens, it is apparent you are cruel AND heartless AND have no soul.
Things were looking pretty down, and with only four minutes left it looked like this movie could win the award for saddest movie ever. But Meryl Streep saves the day! She is the wife, and she says she will not take the boy home because he already is home. She is giving up custody and everyone is happy. Except probably her. The End.
Oh. My. Goodness. Can I just go on and on for like, about twenty minutes about the acting in this film? It was wonderful! Some of the best I have seen. All the main characters were nominated for either Best Acting or Best Supporting Acting. Dustin Hoffman, who played Ted, was able to portray a man who was at first deeply hurt but then grew and fiercely loved his son. Meryl Streep won an award too but she was in the movie for only fifteen minutes tops so I don’t have anything to say except that it is amazing that her nose doesn’t get red when she cries. This is a skill I must ask her to teach me one day. Even the little boy was able to act much better than I am able to and he was only six! He was an actor who was far better at his craft than many people four times his age.
I wouldn’t say this was a joy to watch, because honestly it was hard to watch all the pain every character was going through. But it was still an excellently made movie. Now if you excuse me, I have a dishwasher to save.
Tonight, the unexpected happened. My dishwasher began to melt.
I know you are laughing at this statement. But it is not funny. I have never been more worried about anything before in my life. Smoke and steam were pouring out of my dish cleaning device at an alarming rate, making some sort of black plastic slowly ooze out the front. I was convinced for a few seconds that it was going to eat me. Had you seen the site that I had beheld tonight, I am sure my dear friends that you would believe the same thing.
While all this was going on, I happened to be watching Kramer Vs. Kramer. Of course I would have to take breaks occasionally to make sure my large kitchen appliance hadn’t totally wasted away into a heap of useless plastic. That would indeed be a tragedy.
Ted Kramer likes to work. He likes it a lot. However, his wife hates the fact he is always working, and never paying any attention to her feelings, and in general being a fail of a husband. So of course, she leaves him, and their five year old son.
At first, Ted doesn’t do so well having a child to take full care of. He makes him French toast with the egg shells mixed in, things like that. But eventually after about a year or so, they finally begin to make it all work and become genuinely happy.
Of course, in a movie, when things are going splendidly you know everything is about to turn rotten.
This movie is no exception. First Ted is hit with the news his ex has returned to New York City and is wanting custody of Billy, their now seven year old boy. Of course Ted is rather attached to Billy and says no. So off to a courtroom they must go! Oh look that rhymed! Maybe I should do that more of the time.
But not before Ted loses his job due to missing some stuff because of being a single parent. This makes his case to win Billy nearly impossible. Scratch that. It is impossible. So Ted races off, three days before Christmas, to find a job, any job.
Luckily, he does! It is below him and he takes a pay cut, but it is still a job. He doesn’t care. He would have probably worked at McDonald’s if he had to. Everything is secure to head off to the courtroom.
Now, I could write this long, dramatic paragraph about how they argue back and forth and have to wait for the news an agonizing amount of days, or I could just tell you bluntly that Ted looses Billy. Its heart wrenching. Honestly, if you don’t feel even a tinge of sadness when this happens, it is apparent you are cruel AND heartless AND have no soul.
Things were looking pretty down, and with only four minutes left it looked like this movie could win the award for saddest movie ever. But Meryl Streep saves the day! She is the wife, and she says she will not take the boy home because he already is home. She is giving up custody and everyone is happy. Except probably her. The End.
Oh. My. Goodness. Can I just go on and on for like, about twenty minutes about the acting in this film? It was wonderful! Some of the best I have seen. All the main characters were nominated for either Best Acting or Best Supporting Acting. Dustin Hoffman, who played Ted, was able to portray a man who was at first deeply hurt but then grew and fiercely loved his son. Meryl Streep won an award too but she was in the movie for only fifteen minutes tops so I don’t have anything to say except that it is amazing that her nose doesn’t get red when she cries. This is a skill I must ask her to teach me one day. Even the little boy was able to act much better than I am able to and he was only six! He was an actor who was far better at his craft than many people four times his age.
I wouldn’t say this was a joy to watch, because honestly it was hard to watch all the pain every character was going through. But it was still an excellently made movie. Now if you excuse me, I have a dishwasher to save.
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